This from a Kaiser patient…
They gave me a choice. I can either let them step me down or deal cold turkey with them stopping writing my pain prescriptions. I am barely holding on by a thread at an 8. Sooner or later at a pain level of 9, I will euthanize myself. I have started grieving my own death and prioritizing my books-to-be-read and movies-to-watch. Now I am waiting. I get to go until my next medication refill and then… Then.. Then I endure the painful horror as long as I can- and finally will love myself enough to let go via self euthanasia.
I promise, fellow pain sufferers, that I will not use opioids in my euthanasia. I will not be a statistic to use against you. The question is between an exit bag and helium or a severed carotid. (The exit bag is easier psychologically, but can be reversed-leaving brain damage. The severed carotid leaves you unconscious within 90 seconds, dead inside of five minutes and is absolutely sure, even if done in an emergency room. It is so screwed up that I had to research and learn that!) I promise I will send a snail- letter detailing my diagnosis (Fibromyalgia and Ehlers–Danlos syndrome), my attempts to control pain over the past 20 years, the horror of being stepped down, the torturous level of pain I have endured and my final exit to ABC, NBC, CBS and fox locally, in my state capital of Sacramento and Washington DC. I will also send it to my mayor, governor, state and federal representatives, the director of the CDC, the White House and to our president himself. I will post it on Facebook (who will probably delete it) and email it to Robert Rose. (I have already started it, as I am only sure of the next month.) I will do my best for those of you left. I will make sure everyone knows that I didn’t want to die, but was forced to it due to torturous pain after losing my pain control. I keep telling myself that I should be relieved. My suffering is almost over. Maybe I will even believe it by the end. I doubt it though….